All in all, the trip was pointless and I got very, very wet. But something else happened too. Today, I faced a major ethical dilemma.
To get to Harvard Square, we were required to first board the green train and then transfer to the red line, which runs over the Charles River to Cambridge. As the doors closed and the red train began to move, the usual awkward silence of the train was broken by a loud, female voice.
"Excuse me, can I please have a moment. I'm a mother of two kids, 9 years old and 11. Six months ago I was laid off my job. Earlier, as they were fixing my coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, I left my wallet. I can't go home to my kids without a pizza and toilet paper. Can anyone spare a quarter? A dollar? Please, I have no choice right now but to beg."
Right away, a man to my left walked over to the woman and handed her, I kid you not, an opened and halfway used up roll of toilet paper.
"Now I have toilet paper. I need at least 15 dollars for pizza. I need to feed my kids."
Two people offered her some change which she took with hardly a smile.
She asked again, "Please. I don't like doing this but I have no choice."
"How do we know you're not lying?" yelled a man from further down the train.
"I know it might seem like it, but this isn't a joke or trick. I just need to feed my kids."
"The wallet was gone when you went back?" questioned a man in suit and tie.
"Yes, it wasn't even that much money, but all I had left was in there."
I had been on the fence until that moment. Call me insensitive, but I decided not to give the lady any money.
She still had her coffee from Dunkin' Donuts, so at least that much was true. But there was my issue. The coffee was a large. Large iced coffees costs close to $4. For someone who has been out of work for six months and carries the last of her money around in her wallet, she should be finding a job and feeding her kids, not splurging on expensive beverages for herself. And why hasn't she found herself a job? At the very least, there are always menial labor jobs available if you look. What had she been doing all day? Besides ordering expensive coffees at Dunkin' Donuts, of course. The next time she goes into a Dunkin' Donuts, it had better be for a job application.
That is, of course, if the story was even true at all. I believe she was lying. How did she get on the train without her wallet? Wouldn't her Charlie Card have been in the wallet? Or did she first beg for two dollars outside and buy a ticket with that? How much time must have passed for her to get her coffee, leave the store without her wallet, return long enough later for it to have disappeared, and then stand outside and beg? And after all this time, why was her coffee still 3/4 full? And who was this man that happened to have toilet paper in his coat pocket?
I decided that it was most likely a scam, a con-routine she does regularly. I'm tempted to call the toilet-paper-giving man an accomplice, but that might be a stretch.
I could be wrong. There could really be two hungry kids at home awaiting pizza. The dollar I withheld could have helped feed them. So, was I unethical? I don't think so. If she was lying, I made the right choice. If she was telling the truth, then it is her irresponsibility that is to blame. First, get a job. Second, don't blow the last of your money on coffee. Third, don't lose your wallet.
Did I make the right choice? What would you have done?
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13 comments:
stevhen,
i agree with your feelings on about not giving her the money, but I MUST clear this up:
it was poor of her to be begging for 15$ for pizza, when she could've easily gotten 5$ for a frozen one, unless her electricity was cut off. However, temp jobs are extremely hard to come by. It gets on my nerves when someone says: "why don't they just get a job?"
Why do I get disturbed? Because it's easier said than done. I applied for a temp job with the census (i'm not really worried if i get it or not, I already have a job if I don't get the one with the census. Plus, census jobs should be easy to obtain, right?) I took the test for consideration at the end of JANUARY. I didn't receive a call back until 2 WEEKS ago. And this is for a job that's supposed to be easy to obtain.
But living in a major metropolitan city makes it a long process to obtain even a temporary part-time government job. If I was a single mother of two, I would've been screwed.
So i'm leaning towards the idea that she may have been lying, and she had probably not taken the proper steps to provide for her "kids" ie, asking for welfare, TANF, food stamps. That's her own fault.
But anyway, that's my opinion and a little bit of a rant. This was also a point of view from living below the poverty line most of my life.
(this is Thor)
I agree with the person before me, whomever that was, but I agree with them on (I think) all points. My Mom lost her job last year and has had a terrible time finding a new job despite her psychology masters' degree. I also agree that you made the right decision by not paying her.
I disagree with the two comments above. I admit that jobs are scarcer and that it is difficult to find work in the areas that the lady's skills might have normally qualify her for.
However, I have seen plenty of "Help Wanted" signs throughout the city in places like Dunkin' Donuts, CVS's, Subway, etc. Such jobs may be below your her qualifications, but work is still work. When I first came to Boston last fall, I applied at three such locations and within two weeks was offered work at two of them. Everyone of my college friends who has wanted a job has found one.
Of course, many people who are laid off of corporate work or skilled labor might choose to hold out for a job at their level rather than taking menial work, but if the lady's situation was as dire as she wanted the train to believe, she really should have considered simple labor.
Both of my parents were laid off their jobs in the past year, so I'm not totally naive about the job market.
I think you were probably right Stevhen. It does sound like she was scamming the train. And if she wasn't, I think she's been ignorant of her childrens' needs and doesn't deserve to have other people pick up her slack.
it's great to hear you have such great luck. Just remember that not everyone has it
I just saw that same woman on the red line between Central and Harvard this afternoon (and found your blog by googling for other encounters with her).
Her story this afternoon: name is Shauna, three kids, widowed, laid off hairstylist. Thing is, I've seen her four other times before in the past two years, always somewhere on the red line between Park and Harvard. Sometimes she has introduced herself as Shannon. Sometimes either she or one of her kids has diabetes and needs to pay for more insulin. Sometimes terrible circumstances have separated her from her children, who live an hour away, and she needs to collect money for a bus ticket. Sometimes she is recently unemployed, and other times about to be fired if she can't collect enough money make it back in time. Sometimes her husband is a veteran.
I suspect that some of the elements of her stories are true, but her stated reasons for needing immediate donations are bull. How many times can your bus fare from Boston get stolen?
More about her (what I could find):
http://www.yelp.com/topic/boston-angry-mbta-rant
http://www.reddit.com/r/boston/comments/b968b/beware_red_line_scammer_seen_her_three_times_now/
I believe that in general, it's not a good idea to give money to panhandlers. Living in a major metropolitan area, resources are available to those who are in need and who don't abuse these resources. Most homeless people spend the large majority of the money they receive begging on drugs and alcohol. You just can't make exceptions for certain beggars who put on a convincing act.
I'm going to say, I'm a little disturbed by the comment above me; the idea that pan handlers only use their money on drugs and alcohol is an example of privileged prejudice. Choose to give or not, but spare us the judgment of these people, some of whom are veterans.
To the person who says finding part-time employment is easy -- maybe for a college student, someone with a permanent residence and telephone line. That said, I was an honors student in high school and spent months trying to get employed at these "easy" to get jobs before I picked one up at my local movie theater.
It's so easy to pass judgment...
Back on topic, I'm glad that your suspicions have been vindicated -- I knew you were having ethical dilemmas about whether or not you'd done the right thing. That is, assuming that this is the same woman...
Addendum: The "Get a Job" myth.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-schanes/homelessness-myth-1-get-a_b_339500.html
Thanks for the link Brian.
I must add to my comment, for the person who got call backs almost immediately: those jobs go by quickly. You may be content to work at job such as that, but it's tough to go from being from a trained position to a job where you earn in a week what you used to earn in a couple of days.
Even with a full-time job, it's hard to juggle rent, children, food, clothing, transportation, etc.
It is a FACT that most panhandlers spend money they get begging on drugs and alcohol. It's not a matter of passing judgment, there's loads of research pointing to this fact.
My mother works as a case manager for about 200 homeless people, most of whom are mentally ill or disabled. She receives their welfare money and directly pays their rent, bills, etc, just so they don't spend it recklessly. Unfortunately, this service does not exist in most places. But it exists in Madison for a reason!
Just doing some preliminary Google searches, I found this very interesting article from London (the UK is currently doing a lot of research on the issue.)
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&ct=res&cd=3&ved=0CBAQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.communities.gov.uk%2Fdocuments%2Fhousing%2Fpdf%2Fimpactofbegging.pdf&rct=j&q=begging+alcohol+abuse&ei=bLbMS8HeJMH78Aa93uSOBQ&usg=AFQjCNF62lFASkIIav1U087lnnBW1iizXA
"It is a FACT that most panhandlers spend money they get begging on drugs and alcohol. It's not a matter of passing judgment, there's loads of research pointing to this fact."
You need to update your definition of "most" because the research I found had topped that number off in the 40-50% range, which is less than most.
Your tone is disrespectful and assumes facts that you can't assume; you don't know that homeless person's story. You don't know where that money is going to go. You can make a choice to give or not to give, but do not dismiss others' charity as enabling the alcoholism and addiction of the needy.
I've seen her 4 times in the last week. Sometimes she has kids, sometimes she's a widower, sometimes she's just been laid off. Reports have been found going back to 2008 http://www.yelp.com/topic/boston-angry-mbta-rant
Everytime I see her she has a different story, and people are stupid enough to hand over cash
Oh and I forgot to mention, sometimes her stories involved her getting "stranded" in Boston and needing money to take the commuter rail. Everytime I see her in the train I roll my eyes and then she starts her scammers pitch. Such BS.
"I'm Shannon, this is hard for me, I'm so embarassed I have to beg, etc etc."
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