Behind Enemy Lines, How I Refuse to Submit to Starbucks Nation.

We all know at least one, or 17,  Starbucks devotees. They carry their green-and-white cups as if it were a badge.  They raise their coffee-stained chins above fellow drinkers who have made the poor choice of a Dunks or a Newman's. They are Starbucks nation and they are proud.

All my life, I have made fun of these people.  I was the kid who was always afraid to define myself in any particular way, so people defining themselves by their coffee preference struck me as the illustration of snobbery.  The common excuses, provided through slurps of macchiatos and cappuccinos, failed to convince me. "The freshness", "the flavor", and "the service", the crap. I knew one thing about Starbucks, and that was the premium people pay for Starbucks coffee. It was all hype, I was sure.

Now, I too am a coffee drinker. Coming into coffee drinking only in the last semester, I remain free of habit.  I am still figuring out the difference between a mocha and an espresso, a cappuccino and a frappuccino, a latte and a plain-ol' coffee.  I have avoided the classification of a Starbucks person or a Dunks person, giving equal opportunities to both brands.

To take a stab in the back of my former self, Starbucks is winning me over.


It frightens me. The more often that I carry a Carmel Macchiato throughout my day, the less I try to cover that iconic logo. The more often I sport an iced White Chocolate Mocha, the more I try to show off the fact that I'm drinking out of the iconic green straw.  I am becoming one of the them.

Fortunately, I've taken some steps to avoid my further Starbucks zombification.

First, I will not download the Find Starbucks application onto my phone.
My Droid will be used for a lot of things, but my coffee preference should not get valuable homescreen real estate.

Second, I will stop spotting other people with Starbucks cups and cooly asking, "So, what's your drink?"
I should not assume having matching coffee cups makes us instant friends.

Third, I will order a small, medium, and, if I'm treating myself, a large.
I will never order a "tall", a "grande" or a "viente".


Let me know, are you a part of Starbucks nation?